Monday, September 27, 2010

In Defense of Polygamy?


With the premiere of TLC's "Sister Wives" this weekend, there has been a lot of talk on television/radio about polygamy.  It seems that many people (my self included) are fascinated by the inner workings of such a family.    For a feminist like me, the first reaction to such an arrangement is disgust:  Why would these women want to share their man?  How do they deal with jealousy?  Don't they have the self esteem to say "I, alone, am enough for my husband"?

While listening to an interview with the "Sister Wives" on the Today Show, a light bulb went off in my head.  As a nation, we have judged polygamy quite harshly, while at the same time making apologies for divorce and sexual relations outside of wedlock that result in the birth of a child.  A man who leaves his older wife with no financial means to take care of herself because he is no longer attracted to her is more noble than a man who takes on a younger wife, but continues to provide financial and emotional comfort to the first wife.  In the same vein, is a man who commits to taking care of his multiple lovers and their children really worse that a man who fathers children with multiple women but refuses to make any commitment to them?   

The fear of polygamy seems to stem from the many abuses some followers of the practice inflict on women and children.  But isn't it a little unfair to judge the whole by the actions of a few?  Being a Catholic, I would be truly upset if someone were to judge me responsible for some of the crimes committed by members of my church.  

Now, to make myself clear, I would never practice polygamy.  It wouldn't be right for me, being that I am jealous, opinionated, needy, overly judgmental, etc.  I just think that maybe it's time for us to let people make their own decisions about how they live their lives and what brings them happiness.  It just seems silly that relationships like those portrayed in "Sister Wives" and "Big Love" are considered illegal, but Hugh Hefner can have as many live-in girlfriends as he wants.


Have you watched the new TLC show?  What do you think of it?  What do you think of polygamy in general?  Is this a type of relationship that you would ever consider?

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