The Proposal

Just like many little girls out there, I had been thinking about the romantic moment when the man of my dreams would propose to me for a long, long time. I knew that Mr. Pudding had purchased a ring way back in June of 2008, so I was certain that an engagement was coming at some point during the summer. But as June, July, and most of August went by, I was getting more and more impatient.

The period before an engagement can be a scary, scary time for a woman. Being a bit of a traditional girl, I wanted Him to do the asking. Because of this, the independent, strong, decision making female in me was raging! For the first time in my life, I felt like I had no control over my life! I really was an emotional mess. Mr. P and I had been dating for over 5 years, and I felt like I needed the ring to cement our relationship. I was caught between telling all of my friends and relatives (who were all getting engaged before me) how much I didn't care about being engaged, and internally feeling like maybe I wasn't worthy of the "honour" (believe me, I know that this is completely irrational). Can any of you "waiting" gals relate?

Because of my clear emotional imbalance, Mr. P had told me that he had some problems with the ring. The setting wasn't quite right, and he decided that he just couldn't give it to me until it was perfect. This set my mind at ease a bit, but I was still dying of anticipation. It didn't help that we had started planning our civil ceremony (more on that later) already, and I still had no ring! I had an officiant, but no ring!

In August, Mr. Pudding and I took a vacation in Maine. Perfect setting for a proposal, right? WRONG! MR. P still did not have the ring. All week we paraded around Maine discovering private beaches, climbing rocks to find the perfect views of sunsets, and even interacting with the local wildlife! Each time, I kept thinking: "he's going to do it....this moment is too perfect for him not to do it!" At the same time, his thoughts probably went something like this: "stupid jewelers! This would be a perfect moment to do it!"

(photo by the automatic shatter on Mr. P's camera)

Driving home to Vermont, Mr. P's cell phone rang. It was his dad, who called to say that the ring was ready! I was sitting in the passenger seat, and could totally hear the conversation, but was trying to keep my cool and pretend like I wasn't paying attention. Inside, I was jumping up and down. That weekend, I couldn't sleep. I thought about crawling out of bed to go searching for the ring, but knew that that would mean that I was certifiably crazy. I was so worried that he would let me go home to Toronto (I was leaving on Sunday) without the ring, and the thought of that was scary!

That Saturday, we went to the Vermont State Fair. I thought that maybe he would propose on top of the ferris wheel.....no......there was a moment while we were eating a funnel cake where he stared at me just a little too long (is this it?)......no! I would have settled for a proposal during the livestock show....NOPE! I had resigned myself to going home ringless.

That evening, however, Mr. P suggested that we go to downtown Burlington to watch the sunset over Lake Champlain. My ears perked up....this had to be it! About five minutes later though, he came down the stairs in his shorts and Birkenstocks and explained that he was ready to go. I took one look at him and thought....this isn't happening today. No way is he proposing to me dressed like that. Plus, I didn't see the outline of a ring box in his pocket! I was so peeved that I didn't even do my makeup or brush my hair as a sign of protest! I didn't speak to him the whole way there, and was just overall in a bad mood.

Mr. Pudding took me to the lake, and we started walking, and walking, and walking. We climbed some rocks, and jumped a fence. Finally we got to a secluded rock, where Mr. P immediately got down on his knee! The poor guy was so nervous, he was shaking. He pointed the ring in my direction and asked me to marry him just as the sun was setting. It was perfect, and beautiful, and very romantic.

It turned out that Mr. Pudding was just as excited as I was! He wanted to propose ASAP, but also wanted it to be at least a little bit of a surprise. He had to give up his ideas of the perfect proposal because of my impatience and a time crunch. So, he purposefully dressed down to throw me off, and had been carrying the ring around with him all day.

In the end, I probably should have trusted that Mr. Pudding would come through. I knew that he loved me, and I knew that he wanted to be with me forever. We had talked about marriage for many, many months, but for whatever reason, I was unable to get past the fact that society didn't view me as being in a serious, committed relationship.

Did any of you go a little bit crazy while waiting for a proposal? Did you feel bad about it after getting engaged?