The Months Before

One of my very good friends got married last year. Her relationship with her husband started around the same time that Mr. Pudding and I began dating, and we've been through some similar ups and downs with our men.

When I visited her a couple of months after her (beautiful) wedding, she told me something that I didn't quite understand at the time. She told me that the months before the wedding were some of the hardest months that she had ever been through with her boy, and that she thought about walking out of the relationship many times before opting to walk down the aisle instead.

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I have to admit that, at the time, I totally judged her. I couldn't help but wonder what would make a woman marry a man that she was constantly fighting with. She told me that some of her girlfriends felt the same way about their husbands-to-be the last couple of months before their wedding, and that this subsided after the "I Do's".  I thought that they just didn't love their partners as much as I love Mr. Pudding.

Now that our wedding approaches, however, Mr. P and I have been fighting more than usual. Mr.Pudding and I aren't really the type of people who fight - our verbal disagreements usually consist of us telling each other why we are angry, and than kissing to make it better - so the sudden outburst of arguments seems particularly odd.

Every couple argues. It's inevitable that your partner will do something to completely aggravate you at least once a week, no matter what the status of your relationship. The difference when you are engaged is that you feel like this is your last chance to walk away. This "fight or flight" instinct is what I think causes people to argue in the months leading up to their marriage.  Suddenly, your partner's cute little flaws are something that you will have to live with FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  That is one scary thought!

The months before the wedding are stressful. Subconsciously, you can't help but think that this is your last chance to bail on your partner's shortcomings (which he/she no doubt has). It is one of the few times in a relationship when you think more about the bad in your partner than the good.

Luckily for me, Mr. Pudding and I are (mostly) able to recognize the true source of these fights when they happen.  We remind one another that we are fighting about something that is insignificant, and that we love each other.  We always remember to laugh them off.

Anyone else notice that the amount of arguments you have with your significant other increases the closer you get to the wedding?  How do you cope with this phenomena?